Maybe I had my head in the sand. Maybe I was out to lunch. Maybe I was looking so hard at the trees, I didn’t see the forest.  Yep, that’s it. I was too focused on the details and missed the big picture.

I’m talking about missing all the signs that my oldest son has Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder, also called ADHD.

You’d think I’d know something wasn’t right when he talked all the way from California to Florida, during our move here. I’m serious. Non-stop, all 2,000-odd miles.  I just thought he was smart and curious and had a lot to talk about. So what if his brothers, father and I could hardly get a word in edge-wise. I said things like, “Stop that,” and “Don’t do that,” a lot.

We didn’t figure out there was a problem until the end of first grade. It was a bad year, and it’s a long story, but I ended up tallying how many positive and how many negative things his teacher had written about him in his planner. The score? Nothing, zero, nada positive comments and 87 negative ones.

Everyday it was something, and my requests for her to provide something positive for me to say to him about school were ignored.

“Today, Joseph stuck a straw up his nose,” was my last straw. He was six and is a boy and gee whiz, woman, what am I supposed to do about that!?!

As I prepared to confront her (my anal-retentive tally of her planner notes was just the beginning…) I discovered a pattern. “Out of his seat.” “Talking.” “Didn’t finish his work.” “Can’t keep his hands to himself.” Over and over and over again.

I took the tally to our family doctor, and he recognized the behavior for what it was. ADHD.  As much as I hated to put my child on medication to change who he is, we decided to give it a try. We started the summer with minimal small dose and increased it slightly just before the school year.

Joseph began the second grade reading at the 50th percentile. Within two months, he scored at the 95th percentile. And I came to realize that the medicine did not change who he is; rather, the medicine allows him to be who he is. Smart, helpful, courteous, polite, loving. And capable of letting someone else talk sometimes.

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